What's Next?

The A-toZ Challenge has officially ended and I keep asking myself: what's next? I want to continue on my poetic journey, but a couple of things will change.

First, I want to explore more topics. The challenge was a great start, but I not aim to explore all of my world, and not just part of my identity.

Secondly, and I think more importantly, I want to put out one solid poem at least once a week. Starting on the 10th of May, I want to publish one poem on this blog every Sunday. I am hoping this will allow me to focus on one crafted poem than spread myself across a bunch of different ones.

Someone hold me to this.

Thanks for sticking around!

Z - At-to-Z in Review

About a month ago I

began a journey to start writing, no,

creating poetry through a simply challenge.

Day after day I wrote and

erased countless words in my

faded yellow pages to try and

gather my thoughts into a few

hollowed sentences.

I challenged myself from initial

jitters to some much needed,

kind words to finish the

long journey of daily creativity.

My poetry advanced, I think, and

now I mustn’t

obsess over the small details or

quirks lining my thoughts.

Right now I don’t know where I

stand or where to go. I keep contemplating next steps or

tasks laying ahead on the

unwanted path of defeats and seldom

victories. But,

with a pen in hand and an

x before the dotted line, I’ll take

you along wherever this

zoo of a life takes me.

Y - The Missing Color

Red: passion

            The look in the eyes of the attorney

            fighting for the removal of the

            second before our citizenship.

Orange: uncomfortable

            That color too bright for average

            yet too bland to mix with others.

Green: nature

            For we are fighting to feel

            harmonized and natural

            into their world

aren’t we?

Blue: calm

            Calm before the storm.

            Ability to lean on each other.

            Survivors of suicide.

Purple: royalty

            Are we not queens?

Yellow:

            Where are you?

            I see you stitched across

            the Speedos on the nude beaches

            and three rungs down on our flag

            but where is your meaning?

X - Where's my X?

Was it in my slightly tightened jeans

or just in my general sense of style?

Could it have been my voice inflections

or maybe when I threw some shade?

Did I crook my hand a little too much

or did my hips give away my lie?

I try to hid and cover

the x

splattered across my barren chest,

yet your aim still hits

as you identify my marker as a

faggot.

W - We?

How can we fall under

the umbrella term of

community

when we can’t even

agree or settle on

minute details like

basic survival?

V - Victorious

Look me straight

in the eyes and

say that again

for I will not

budge nor move

for I am

statuesque and

unworthy of

your cowardly

advances.

I will not budge

nor move because

I am victorious

and you are

not.

U - Unique

You were just a character in Glee.

Somewhere between the Kurts and

the Rachels, you stood as a monument

staring over the impurity below.

Your end came too soon,

but know that you impacted

at least one person in the saga

of your tragedy.

You redefined a community.

Unique was once an adjective to

quality everything around it,

but you transformed this

description into a being.

For you taught me that

we are beautifully unique.

T - There They Stand, Ignorant to Me

There they stood with love reaching between the electrostatic hairs on their arms growing as they accidentally edge closer.

There they be, lost in a temper of blissfulness tuned away from the ignorance radiating from a nearby guitar and focused into the concavity of each other’s breath.

There they sit as proof that from the dimmest of corners of my special place in misery I can find happiness in the purest form.

There they are with a crooked smile oblivious to the exhausted neighbor dying to reach their point of clarity.

There they stand, statuesque in unknown ignorance, as an inspiration for a man to turn just one more page in the ending saga of surviving.

S - What's in a name?

See right through me

and question

people, places, an aura.

There I stand and appear

in a crossfire, chaotic,

kindled with a claim

close to engulfing

in a queer passion

lifting into endless flame

yet be discovered.

R - Am I Right?

I commonly hear that I am

unnatural, sinful, and, heck,

even evil.

It buries in and bits, but

I can’t help to disagree.

When I kissed a girl,

it felt unnatural and forced.

That whole peg in a square

hole thing.

But,

when I kissed another man,

I felt the rhythm of two

heart beats sink into a

pattern only Beethoven

could dream of.

As we explored the depth

of another soul, I

felt a shard of my tattered

existence lift into the

starry night sky.

Our long talks dived into

the intricacies of my inner

being as he succumbed to the

power of unity.

When I fall under attack

for my sinful ways,

I always ask:

How could this

not be right?

Q - The Word Queer

Things Queer is Not:

Queer is not ugly.

Queer is not a $3 bill.

Queer is not your next door neighbor’s uncle that only gets talked about on ancestry.com.

Queer is not my direct identity.

Queer is not my first kiss.

Queer is not that person who doesn’t quite fit your box.

Queer is not unnatural.

Queer is not a thing of the past.

Queer is not a word for you to use light-heartedly.

Queer is not what you think it is.

Queer is not gone.

Things Queer Is:

Queer is my people.

Queer is beautiful.

Queer is a community that you have decided to marginalize.

Queer is here.

Queer is my last night.

Queer is that feeling you get when you decide understand that weird feeling.

Queer is my life.

Queer is the kind-hearted person down the street.

Queer is wonderful.

Queer is amazing.

Queer is beautiful.

Queer is everything you would hope it to be.

P - My People

My people are everywhere,

yet,

they are thrown into the crack of the sidewalks

where the ants bite into any chards of nourishment.

My people will cut you,

yet,

they will defend a total stranger.

My people oscillate between love and hate,

yet,

they will embrace anyone who wants help.

My people fit the stereotypes when needed,

yet,

they live to tussle around their own identities

in the face of confusion.

My people are not supposed to survive,

yet,

they constantly define resilience.

My people may fall to the words of the unfortified pupil,

yet,

we still stay strong.

My people are here.

My people are queer.

My people are people.

O - Chasing the O

Oh, that magical, mystical moment

trapped between the lilacs, lilies, and lovers,

waiting for the precise, perfect, and pristine

second of gaping, ghastly, and grasping

pleasure of climatic finish.

N - Normal?

Normal.

Straight, cis.

Thriving, mandating, controlling.

Don’t have to question.

Them.

M - Monogamy

I don’t get it.

What’s so bad

about finding the one?

As I lay in bed past the

moon settling over the horizon

I think of my perfect man.

His brilliant smile exposed after

a corny joke only he could

find funny.

That trip we took in the

middle of an isolated desert

that almost tore us apart.

Even that disgusting habit of

his that drives beyond the

point of insanity.

This is what I want.

I accept that my dreams exist

within the social constructs, but

in reality,

I just want love.

L - Lesbians

Lesbians, I really don’t get us.

Like, we have nothing in common,

We like different people.

We are different people physically.

I hate your parts.

You hate mine, I think.

We only come together against ‘them’.

Like, really, we shouldn't get along.

Yet, I still love y’all.

K - We Just Want One of Our Kind

Forward thinking we climb,

clamoring and cajoling for the sake of time,

carrying the constant and consistent rhyme,

just to conceal a simple line.

We just want one of our kind.

J - Justice

You cannot, will not,

force your hateful religion

onto my freedom.

I - Intersecting Identities

The intersectionality of identity

            convulses and concludes with confusion

stemming from systematic

            oppression only offering

glimpses and glances that graze

            at differentiated definitions of denotations.

H - Heteronormativity

Herein lies the problem that you

expect us

to follow the Mr./Mrs. social construct for

envelope addressing.

Really? You see no problem?

Or do you just ignore it?

Now, I am not here to

overemphasize the insults

resulting from your

mistakes, but I am

also here to remind you

that you cannot assume

identities or

various aspects of myself.

I am an individual

that steers clear from

your ingrained bigotry.