G - 25 Things that Make Me Gay

1. That guy’s muscles.

2. That guy’s butt.

3. The fact that I spend more time looking at professor’s assets than listening to his lectures.

4. My love for underwear.

5. My tumblr.

6. My Facebook.

7. The pride flag in my room.

8. The fact that I know what LGBTQQAP2SA+ means.

9. How excited I get when I see a rainbow.

10. That guy’s leg muscles.

11. When my heart skips a beat when that guy stretches.

12. How I ask my TA questions just to be close to him.

13. That guy’s right calf.

14. That guy’s left calf.

15. My YouTube views.

16. How my legs look in jeans.

17. My poetry.

18. That guy’s nose in perfect lighting.

19. When his eyes glimmer after turning around to crack his back.

20. That fact that I’d rather look at a male’s parts than think of anything female.

21. That guy’s perfect up-do.

22. The fact that vaginas are disgusting.

23. That guy’s entire body.

24. My love for everything male.

25. Oh yea, and that time I came out as gay.

F - Freedom

As the cement moves

below our synchronized feet,

your fingers meet mine

and our hands clasp together

while we conquer crowed streets.

E - Ellen

Your voice quickly became

the vessel for my release.

“Of course I love Ellen, Mom.

She’s … hilarious.”

As my bodied tried to

shift through your

wake of kindness,

I learned to survive past

the emotions clinging to my

sinking heart.

Because of your catalyst,

I float on clouds lined with

fabulous amounts of glitter.

D - Demi Deconstruction

Half god and half human.                               Attracted after intellect.

Trapped between the lines                              Set free by connections

of royalty and the fragility                           unraveling conversations

of death.                                                                 and deep personas.

Concerned of genetics and                              Graced by the covered

possibilities, yet limited by                            beauty, yet broken by a

the lack of similarities.                                          lack of community.

The Demi’s: the gods of                            The Demi’s: the people of

the humans.                                                            sincere connection.

C - The Closet

1. Was it really that dark in there?

2. Is it over yet?

3. Have you ever looked back?

4. Does it get easier?

5. Was it worth it?

1. When goals dwindle down to restricting the crook of your hand, darkness becomes a beacon of hope.

2. From innocent stares to the stubborn parents, each hour becomes tainted with the same experience.

3. As I straddle both the entry and the exit, I lack enough energy to even look forward.

4. The pain will always exist, but the accomplishment will always help.

5. A youth trying to accept themselves thanked me for listening to her questionless answers. I watch her repair her soul.

B - An Apology

For me, you are no traitor.

Anyone who can look at the shrinking box

of shriveled emotions and step away

deserves no disrespect.

I cannot speak for the community

of hypocritical headline chasers,

but know that you are still

a part of my community, my home.

I cannot pretend to erase

all the wrongs done against

you and your similarly lettered family, 

but I can my offer a simple apology.

I would never beg for forgiveness,

it is not my place, but I will offer

a shaky hand in hopes for a steady

wall formed from rainbow splattered bricks.

We have washed you away

and treated you as they

treat us and I just hope that

we can pull you back.

A - Assumptions

You slithered next to me and slowly caressed the curvature

            of my shoulder with the ripples of your fingertips.

I never knew you could laugh so hard.

I watched as you peel the fabric over your dulled brass

            buttons to reveal the intensity of hidden colors.

I never knew your backpack had so many pens.

We both giggled as each layer of sweaty, pulpous, rubber-like

            texture revealed itself from under the strained fabric.

I never knew that cake batter made such weird noises.

Our heart beats slowly gained intensity as your exhales

            moved closer and closer to the poison leaving my lips.

I never knew a Sunday run could exhaust me so much.

You asked if I would want to join you in any after-hours fun

            filled with passion, bliss, and insurmountable pleasure.
You never knew I was ace.